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I consider myself a manly man but… I was working in the courtyard off the rear deck, cleaning the fire pit and cutting up several large branches that we’d cut several weeks ago to burn in the pit. I had some scrap branches left over and hauled them down the trail to toss into our compost pile. I walked back up the trail gathered the lopers and hatchet and took those back to the garage and then headed in to take a shower. As I was stripping down I felt something on my back. I ripped off my t-shirt as fast as I could and this fucker landed on the blinds! I screamed like a fuckin girl. That’s a two inch wide plantation slat and that my friends is a poisonous Huntsman spider! They’ve been introduced to the southeastern United States via our sea ports. Needles to say that particular fucker is very dead. No fuckin spider that big is ever gonna crawl on me and live to tell about it! 

~redjeep (shower, shaved and still shakin…)

I’ve done gone and packed my pantaloons. I’m moving to Antarctica.